Who's in Control?

Stress sometimes seems like it's a prevalent part of our lives; that our lives are crazy and out of control, and that there's very little we can do about that. In reality, we are very much in control of the decisions we make. "The simple realization that you’re in control of your life is the foundation of stress management" (helpguide.org). We make decisions almost constantly that effect our level of stress. When we realize how we may be causing ourselves to feel additional stress, we are in a position to change it.

Elder Dallin H. Oaks gave a talk entitled "Good, Better, Best" that can help us understand how to prioritize our lives. You can read that here if you want help deciding what in your life is good, what is better, and what is best. You are in control of your life and you can make decisions to help you reduce your stress. What better time to start than today? Start by thinking about what is important in your life, then prioritize what is most important to you and what is essential for you to achieve your goals. You will notice as the less important tasks drop out that your stress level will decrease too.

Stress and Headaches

Constant psychological stress can lead to muscle tension, pain, and headaches. This article from the Mayo Clinic offers several helpful ideas to help decrease headaches over time. Some of the suggestions may feel difficult to implement (e.g. relaxing for a few minutes each day, taking a break) but as you try them, you will notice a difference in your overall health and stress levels. Try it out and see what works for you!

Why our bodies respond to stress

Stress & Memory

Secret Signs of Stress

Performance Rehearsal

Performance rehearsal is utilizing the power of mental imagery to bring about a better performance, or to promote successful behavior change. Performance rehearsal utilizes techniques from visualization, so if visualization is easy for you, performance rehearsal is likely to also be easier for you.

To begin, practice a previously acquired relaxation skill such as deep breathing or body scanning. When you have done this and feel relaxed, think of an upcoming situation of which you are afraid. This could be a test, a musical or sports performance, a job interview, or just about anything. Come up with a plan of how you would like to act in that situation. Anticipate problems that could arise and role play in your mind how to deal with those problems.

Be sure to imagine the scene in total detail- where you are, what you are wearing, every step, and every thought that would occur as you do the task. See yourself executing your task perfectly. Develop strategies to overcome any negative things that may occur. See and feel yourself calm, focused, and confident.

The more you mentally rehearse your role in this event, the more likely you will be to handle the situation in a successful way. In the real-life situation, you can become the person you have mentally rehearsed to be.

Body Scan

Body scanning is a quick way to relax your body. It involves going from head to toe, looking for tension in different areas of the body, then letting go of that tension.

Begin by focusing on your scalp and noticing any tension, discomfort, tightness, or pain in that area of your body. Study the tension, then slowly let go of it. Let the scalp muscles smooth out. Now move your attention to your forehead and notice any tension, tightness, wrinkles, or discomfort. Slowly let go of the tension by letting the muscles smooth out and feel relaxed. Then move to your next area of your body, the jaw. Notice the tightness and tension in your jaw muscles and let it go by letting your jaw become loose and slack.

You can do the rest on your own by going through these parts of the body:
Shoulders
Arms & hands
Upper back, middle back, & lower back
Abdomen/stomach
Hamstring & thigh muscles
Knees
Calf Muscles
Ankles
Feet

Next, be aware of your entire body and notice if some tension has slipped back in to a part of the body. Passively focus on that part of your body, then let it go.

You can take as much or as little time to do a body scan as you want to. It can take 1 minute or 20 minutes, but either way, you should feel relaxed and refreshed afterwards.

Progressive Muscle Relaxation

Progressive Muscle Relaxation is the most active form of relaxation. Progressive Muscle Relaxation, or PMR, is designed to help the body progressively relax by letting go of tension. PMR helps in dealing with muscle tension, neck and back pain, insomnia, fatigue and muscle spasms. PMR also reduces the physiological tension caused by anxiety-provoking thoughts, which helps to reduce the anxiety response. PMR can be a quick and easy form of relaxation.

To begin, lay on the floor or sit in a chair with space around you. You can start at the top of your head or the tips of your toes, but you want to be sure to tense each muscle group for 5-7 seconds, then relax for 20-30 seconds. Muscles you want to tense include your forehead, eyebrows, jaw, tongue, lips, cheeks, throat, shoulders, chest, abdomen, arms, fingers, hands, lower back, hips, buttocks, thighs, calves, shins, feet, and toes. You will want to start by tensing and relaxing one muscle group at a time, but as you become more proficient at PMR, you can do groups of muscles at one time (e.g. forehead, cheeks, tongue, etc). Regular practice can help enhance the speed and depth of your relaxation.

*Caution: be careful when tensing your neck and back to avoid muscle or spinal damage. If it hurts, please stop.

Worrying

Most people have a lot to worry about. Being a student has its own unique challenges and stressors, and there are decisions you have to make which can feel enormous. In this situation, it's hard to not worry about how your life will turn out. Worry and stress can be productive-to a point. Some stress is motivating and helps us perform better. But too much worry and stress can decrease our performance and our ability to make decisions.

Not worrying is hard to do, but there are several techniques that can help you decrease your worry. First, think of worry as a tomato plant. The more you feed and water and pay attention to your tomato plant, the more tomatoes will grow. If you leave your tomato plant alone, it will die. Worry is similar to that - the more attention you pay to your worries, thee more they will grow.

One thing you can do to decrease the time you spend on your worries is imagine building a box in your mind that will hold your worries.. Be as detailed as you can, and be sure to put a lid and a lock on the box. That box will keep your worries safe for you until you have time to think about them, but it will keep you safe from thinking about them at inopportune times.

The second technique you can use to decrease your worries is to set aside a specific amount of time to worry. Saying "I'm going to worry from 3-3:30 pm this afternoon about my test" is better than worrying about it all day. This will help you decrease the amount of time you spend on worry and will free up your mind to think about other things.

Quick Relaxation

Relaxation can be hard to fit into a busy schedule. You may not feel like you have time to sit down and do a 10 minute relaxation recording. In those cases, you may wish relaxation was as easy as just adding water to yourself to become more relaxed. Fortunately, there are quick relaxation techniques you can use that will leave you more relaxed.

1. In one slow motion, take in a deep abdominal breath and force it all out. As you breathe out, think of the word "relax".
2. At the end of breathing out, hold your breath from six to ten seconds (or as long as you feel comfortable). To estimate the seconds, count: "one thousand one, one thousand two", etc.
3. Keep repeating steps 1 and 2 for two or three minutes or as long as it takes for you to feel calm.

After a while, thinking the word relax will become a cue to slow your breathing and calm yourself.

*taken from Help Yourself to Happiness through Rational Self-Counseling

Types of relaxation

In the Stress Management and Biofeedback Services, we offer different types of relaxation exercises. Some relaxation exercises focus on relaxing your body, and when you relax your body, your mind may follow. Other relaxation exercises focus on relaxing your mind, and when you relax your mind, your body may follow and become more relaxed. Some types of relaxation may not work as well for different people, so becoming familiar with what works well for you is important. Some people will find that physical exercise (running, walking, yoga) is helpful to them. Others may be helped by focusing on their breathing and keeping their thoughts in the present moment. Still others may find their stress is relieved through laughter, or through spending time with friends and family.

We focus on relaxation exercises which may include physical or mental relaxation. At least one recording for each of the different types of relaxation exercises can be found on the website and which you can download and listen to for free. Listening to different types of relaxation exercises will help you understand what works best for you and how you can calm down in stressful situations. Feel free to have fun experimenting with different types of relaxation.

Sleep and Stress

For students, getting enough sleep can be difficult. We may lay awake not able to get to sleep. We may feel exhausted, but our thoughts are racing and we cannot stop thinking about what we need to do. There may be a party we want to go to, or we may have long lists of assignments to complete. Sleep is essential to relaxation, and when we get enough sleep, our perceived levels of stress tend to drop. Insomnia can lead to lack of energy, irritability, poor performance, memory difficulties, concentration problems, and a compromised immune system.

Fortunately, there are things we can do to improve our sleep habits. Learning to have good "sleep hygiene" will help improve the quality of our sleep. Sleep hygiene refers to our sleeping habits, particularly to controlling environmental and behavioral factors related to sleep. Working on improving our sleep hygiene can help us get more restful, regular sleep, which can help decrease stress symptoms and increase our ability to use the relaxation response.Some of the items on the list may not work for you, but trying to make small changes to improve your sleep hygiene will help improve your quality of sleep.
*Sleep hygiene list found here

Visualization

We have all used visualization at some time. We are visualizing when we daydream, recall memories, dream, think, or use our inner dialogue to “talk” to ourselves about things. Visualization for relaxation means utilizing the magic of one’s imagination to allow the brain to calm, and the body to relax. Visualization can also help you create a safe and relaxing place in your mind when you need a break from a stressful situation.

Visualization is effective for many stress-related and physical illnesses including headaches, muscle spasms, anxiety, chronic pain, and insomnia (by clearing away stressful thoughts and allowing the mind to calm sufficiently to enter a deeper, restorative state of sleep). To make visualization more successful you should remember to utilize all of your senses: taste, touch, sight, smell, and sound. The more detail you add, the more real your mental image becomes, and thus the deeper and quicker you will relax.

The best time to practice visualization is when you can focus without interruptions. Decide on what kind of visualization you are going to practice, such as re-creating a memory of a time and place when you remember feeling stress-free and very relaxed. It could be a memory of a vacation at the ocean, camping, hiking, fishing, a cabin in the mountains, a day at the lake, a special Thanksgiving dinner with family and friends, a wonderful Christmas morning with family seated around the tree opening gifts, even a memory of lying back on the grass of your childhood home and watching the clouds floating by. The more vivid you make your visualization (by using your 5 senses), the more you increase the likelihood of once again feeling the good emotions associated with that memory – which will deepen your relaxation and sense of well-being.

Stress Busters for College Students

1. Whenever you feel stressed take three deep breaths and repeat a calming phrase to yourself: “One thing at a time,” “My best will be good enough,” “Calm down,” “Relax,” etc. Deep slow breathing and a change in thinking are our best defense against stress overload.

2. Take a short break at least every two hours. After two hours of studying we learn and remember less than if we take frequent breaks.

3. Notice your stress level on a scale of 0 to 10, 10 being the highest. When you are above 5, or notice you can’t concentrate, do something right then to calm yourself: take a short walk, laugh, listen to music, listen to a relaxation recording (http://ccc.byu.edu/counseling/skills.php), call a friend, take a power nap, etc.

4. Take 10 minutes or more to relax deeply at bedtime to help get to sleep and wake more refreshed. Use relaxation skills, Yoga, relaxation recordings, music, calming thoughts, etc, to help you relax.

5. Take time to eat regularly for brain power and energy.

6. Prepare mentally to take your exams by listening to the relaxation recording, “A Walk to the BYU Testing Center,” on our website under Performance Rehearsal: http://ccc.byu.edu/counseling/skills.php

7. Focus on one thing at a time and then consciously transition to a different task. Say to yourself: “I’m done studying Calculus. Now I’m going to focus on my Biology test.”

8. Take a break to try the Relaxation/Biofeedback computer program in the Academic Success Center, WSC 2590. It will help you calm down, focus better, and recharge your batteries.

9. If worry is interfering with studying, mentally yell “Stop!” or “Not Now,” to stop the flow of thoughts. Then focus on your breathing, gradually slowing and deepening it. Add a calming phrase and repeat until calmer.

10. Take a few minutes once in awhile to reassess where you are and adjust your priorities for use of time and energy as you go: Spending less time on less important exams, take a nap when needed, etc.

11. Get out of your head and into your senses while walking to and from school and across campus. Notice the people, scenery, sounds, smells, etc. Enjoy the mountains, sunset, etc. Give yourself a break from thinking.

12. Be realistic about what you can get done in the time you have: Don’t sacrifice too much sleep to study.

Fitting Into Expectations

The story is told in Greek mythology of Procrustes, a man who had a house on the road required for travel to become a hero. Procrustes would invite travelers in for a pleasant meal and a night's rest in his special bed. He would describe his bed by saying it would exactly match whoever slept in it. What he did not tell travelers is he would stretch them on the rack if they were too short, or cut off their feet if they were too long.

You may be wondering how this story relates to stress management. Many times we have stress from trying to fit the expectations others have of us. We feel that we are stretched if we are too short for their expectations or that we are minimized if we are too tall, too much for them. This type of stress can be easily reduced by becoming aware of our own individual strengths and weaknesses, and realizing that we are created exactly as we need to be, not to fit a mold for someone else. Changing our thoughts may be difficult at first but can be helpful for stress reduction.

Spirituality and stress relief

Spirituality is a vital component of life for many of the students we meet with at Stress Management and Biofeedback Services. Spirituality may help us gain a sense of purpose and lessen unimportant distractions. It can help us feel more connected to others which can increase our sense of inner peace. Spirituality can come in many forms, including prayer, meditation, worship services, and making connections with other people. Some people may find it helpful to talk to their spiritual leader or keep a journal. Spirituality is also nurtured when you develop and build relationships with others. Increasing your spirituality in this way can help you to help decrease your perceived stress and increase your positive physical and psychological responses to stress. Ask yourself today "What can I do to increase my spirituality?"

Laughter

Laughter can be a natural stress reliever. Laughter can increase your positive endorphins, stimulate circulation, improve your immune system, and relieve pain (information taken from the Mayo Clinic website). To get you started laughing, check out this YouTube video. If you like that, there is more here. Laughter is a quick and easy way to relax when you only have a few minutes.

Practicing Relaxation

Relaxation is like learning a sport or a musical instrument. At first, relaxation will be difficult. It may feel unnatural or uncomfortable as you learn how to relax, just like it may feel unnatural as you learn how to hold a bat or play a song. However, practicing is the only way we can improve our skills, whether we're playing baseball or learning to relax. As we practice, we become better at relaxation and it comes more naturally to us. There will be times when we still struggle to relax, but if we see those times as cues to practice relaxation, we can improve our skills in relaxation. The Stress Management and Biofeedback Services allows you to be coached by someone familiar with relaxation, but practicing on your own is essential to becoming a professional. Practice leads to better, more fulfilling relaxation.

Breathing, part 2

There are many helpful resources to assist you in finding a comfortable breathing rate for you. There are apps you can download for the iPhone or the Droid. You can use a clock to time your breathing, or you can pay attention to your heartbeat as you breathe, and count the number of heartbeats it takes you to breathe in and out comfortably. Another resource is called the EZ-Air breath pacer. The EZ-Air is a breath pacer that can help you time your breathing for deeper relaxation. It is free for 30 days, and if you like it, you can purchase it. If you do not want to purchase it, you can just delete it from your computer. (Click here to find the EZ-Air breath pacer.) Practicing daily with a breath pacer can help your body find autonomic balance between your sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems, and can help you feel more relaxed.

Breathing

Stress can cause us to breathe more shallowly and can lead to anxiety attacks, muscular tension, headache, and fatigue. Most people are not aware they are breathing shallowly or that they are breathing from their chest instead of deeply from their diaphragms. Deep, diaphragmatic breathing is the easiest way to produce the relaxation response.

Try lying on the floor, placing one hand on your chest and the other hand on your stomach. When you breathe in, notice whether your abdomen expands. If your belly doesn't move, or moves less than your chest, you are breathing from your chest. To learn how to change from chest to stomach breathing, exhale fully one or two times. This will create a vacuum that will pull in a deep, diaphragmatic breath. Also, you can push your stomach out as you are breathing in. Breathing deeply is a skill that you can use to help you relax wherever you are.

One last thing you can do is use a clock with a second hand to help you time your breaths. On the odd numbers, breathe out, and on the even numbers, breathe in. This will have you breathing 6 breaths per minute, which is a comfortable pace for many (but not all) people. Experiment with this to find your most comfortable breaths per minute.

Meditation

Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin. - Mother Teresa

When we are under stress, our focus is usually not in the present. We think about mistakes we have made in the past or what is going to happen in the future. Time spent in the past or future robs us of experiences we can have in the moment. Mindfulness or meditation is a skill that we can use to focus our attention on the present moment. Meditation can also help us notice what is happening both inside our minds and our bodies without judging or fixating on it. Meditation can slow down our breathing or heart rates and can be helpful for anxiety, depression, high blood pressure, or migraine headaches. For more information, check out the biofeedback lab website or schedule an appointment to come into the lab to practice meditation.

Stress & Thoughts

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. -William James

When we have worry, we focus our energy and attention on one thought or a series of thoughts. With that laser-like focus, we exclude all other thoughts or solutions to what we are worried about. It is impossible for us to think of more than one thing at a time. Try it. Think about the Statue of Liberty. Picture her in your mind for a minute. Now, while thinking of the Statue of Liberty, think about what is stressful to you. Could you do it? It is not possible for us to think about two things at the same time.

How does this apply to stress? When we think about stressful things, we do not have room to think about or practice relaxation. When we think about and practice relaxation, we cannot think about our stress at the same time. Listening to the recordings on our website or coming in to do a relaxation recording can help you focus your thoughts elsewhere and can help you relax.

How Stress Affects Our Bodies

If you can't fight or flee, then flow.

The human body responds to stress in many ways. The main stress reaction in the body is called the "fight or flight" response, commonly referred to as "the stress response". When the body has this response, a number of changes happen without us being aware of it. Our muscles contract, preparing to fight or run away. Our bodies release stress hormones including adrenalin and cortisol. Our heart rate increases and our bodies start to sweat. These reactions are helpful when we have a physically stressful event (like encountering a bear while hiking in the forest).

However, these same reactions happen when we have psychological stressors like school, worries about grades, dating, finances, or upcoming decisions to make. While the stress response is helpful when we face physical threats, it is not at all helpful for psychological threats. Humans are the only animals that carry around stress in their minds, and this psychological stress can cause heart problems and strokes. Although we cannot avoid stress, we can learn how to deal with it. The Stress Management and Biofeedback Lab will help you learn how to relax while you are having stress and hopefully help prevent some possible stress related damage to your body.