To Make Your Christmas Merry

With Christmas around the corner, today's blog will feature how you may get the most merriment out of the holiday. So grab your hot chocolate, a cozy blanket, and and be prepared to discover the secret to the season.

According to Hirschman and LaBarbera (1989), there are about 7 main holiday activities which people engage in:

1. Spending time with family

2. Participating in religious activities

3. Maintaining traditions (like decorating a Christmas tree)

4. Buying gifts for others

5. Receiving gifts from others

6. Helping others/Doing service

7. Enjoying physical sensations like good food

So which of these activities will bring greater happiness and less stress to your season? Let's take a look at a study done by Kasser and Sheldon (2002), where they surveyed 117 people to find out more about what effect holiday activities have on subjective well-being. Here are some of the results to the 7 main Christmas activities:

1. Experiences with family were associated with decreased stress, decreased negative emotions, and increase in overall well-being
2. Participating in religious activities were associated with increased satisfaction, decreased negative emotions, and increased overall well-being

3. Maintaining traditions had no effect on the surveyed measures
4. Buying gifts for others was associated with increased stress, increased negative emotion and decreased overall well-being
5. Receiving gifts was associated with decreased satisfaction, decreased positive emotions, increased negative emotions, and decreased overall well-being
6. Helping others/doing service had no effect on the surveyed measures (the authors postulate that this could partly be due to the feeling of service being socially pressured instead of freely given for which there is typically an increased in positive emotions)
7. Enjoying physical sensations was associated with decreased stress

So there you have it folks, according to Kasser and Sheldon, if you want to have a more merry Christmas leave behind the materialism of the season and focus instead on family and having religious experiences.

To quote from Dr. Seuss, "Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before! What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!"

Have a wonderful Christmas and remember to keep your focus on the things that matter :)

A Little Laughter Goes a Long Way

To start off right, here's a little video to introduce our topic today.

Yes indeed, folks. Laughter, and more broadly, positive emotion through humor is our topic today.

Bill Cosby says, "Through humor you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive."

Not only can laughter lift your spirits when you are down, but researchers have found that the positive emotions that you get from laughing can be beneficial to your health. The following are some of the positive health changes that come as a result of learning to cope with stress using humor, positive emotion, and optimism:

• Boosted immune function
• Increased salivary immunoglobulin A (which guards against respiratory infection)
• Increased life span
• Decreased physical debility in old age
• Decreased stress hormones
• Improved cardiovascular functioning
• Greater flexibility and perspective when dealing with problems (thanks to an increase in dopamine in the anterior cingulate cortex)
• Greater daily positive mood

(For more details on these and additional benefits see the research article here)

Though laughter may not be the direct cause of all of the health benefits, it can act as a tool to help you to experience positive emotions and broad perspectives that act as buffers against negative stress.

"The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache." -Marjorie Pay Hinckley

The Empowering Freedom of Forgiveness

Ahhh, forgiveness.  One of those things that is much easier said than done. As C.S. Lewis said, "Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea, until they have something to forgive.”

     Growing up my view of forgiveness centered around making the other person I offended feel good again. I felt like forgiveness meant absolving the other person of all guilt or responsibility by pretending like the event never happened.

     While there are snippets of truth here and there in what I thought, in today's post I'd like to offer a different perspective of forgiveness.  This perspective focuses on YOU. Your peace. Your health, and how you can be empowered by the personal freedom that forgiveness gives.

     Because each person has their own definition of what forgiveness is, the way I will be using it is how the American Psychological Association has defined it (with some emphasis on a few select words):

“Forgiveness is a process (or the result of a process) that involves a change in emotion and attitude regarding an offender. Most scholars view this an intentional and voluntary process, driven by a deliberate decision to forgive. This process results in decreased motivation to retaliate or maintain estrangement from an offender despite their actions, and requires letting go of negative emotions toward the offender.”

     So basically, the focus turns inward, to your own emotions and feelings, instead of focusing on how the offender feels. It is about enabling peace within yourself, not giving up your peace for the sake of the offender.

     Sometimes forgiving can make us feel that we are condoning their actions, or making what they did "okay" because we are letting go of it. Some may feel weak for forgiving.  However, forgiveness doesn't prescribe we give up our right to restitution, our right to justice, or our basic human rights we may have felt were violated.  Rather, forgiveness is about changing how you view people and experiences.  It is an empowering process by freeing you from the negative emotions you may feel toward the offender. “To forgive is to set a prisoner free, and discover that prisoner was you." (Lewis Smede)

     By changing your attitude toward the offender through changing your thinking, it will change the way you look at your past. It will change the way you see your world now, and it will change the way you view the future. In all of these cases, forgiveness can enable you to see your experiences as a challenge to overcome, an experience to learn from, and an opportunity for growth. This can bring greater happiness in your life.

     Along with the psychological benefits of forgiving like improved mood, lowered rate of psychiatric illness, greater sense of personal control, and increased restoration of relationship closeness (which is also a predictor for lifespan), there are other physiological benefits to forgiving someone.

     In a study by Witvliet, Ludwig, and Laan (2001), they found that holding an unforgiving attitude increased sympathetic nervous system arousal. Basically this is the stress system in your body. Makes sense, right? Well, long term activation of this system can lead to a host of problems. It increases the stress hormones which overtime can become toxic to your body, It shrinks your lymph nodes, increasing the likelihood of infections and cancer, cardiovascular and blood pressure problems, digestion problems, ulcers, poor concentration and poor memory, how your body deposits fat, how soon you die and many, many other changes. 

     So to go along with the quote by Buddha above, anger, resentment, and holding grudges are all  actually poisonous to your body overtime because of the negative health effects of long term sympathetic nervous system activation. 

     Don't believe me? You can come to the BYU's Biofeedback Stress Management Services and see how holding a grudge can change your physiology!  The following image is a screen shot I took from one of the programs that we use:

     This graph is looking at the rhythm of someone's heart. The red star is where I had the person start doing some deep breathing, the blue star is where I had them think about a time when they couldn't forgive someone (as they kept doing the breathing), and the green star is where I had the person let go of ruminating thoughts and just concentrate on their breathing. As you can see, between the blue and the green star the heart changes it's rhythm simply because the way the person was thinking changed.

      As you can also see at the green star, when you start to forgive someone, you literally have a change of heart, because your heart begins to beat at a different rhythm. :)

     So now you know forgiveness is about finding your own peace.  You know forgiveness can improve your health, and you know that your thoughts can have a direct impact on the beating of your heart. What about the process of forgiving?  How do you even start?  Here are a six steps that you might find helpful (taken from several publications from the American Psychological Association):

     1. Acknowledge how you feel. A lot of times we just feel distressed but know really know with what particular emotions we’re dealing with or why we feel that way. It’s not the actual situation that makes us distressed, it’s the feelings of being distressed that make us miserable. So identify first okay, this is how I’m feeling – sad, because of this reason, shame for such and such a reason, angry for this or that reason, etc. Also in this stage you can recognize how some of your thoughts might be off. Often times it’s easy to judge situations based on your initial interpretation of events.  See if there are flaws in your thinking. For example,"He must have know it would have upset me." Not necessarily true.

     2. Understand what you mean by forgiveness and decide to do it. Even though I gave a certain definition at the beginning, decide what forgiveness will entail for you in that situation. Will it be going to the person to reconcile the relationship, will it be trusting them again, dropping a court case, or will it simply be changing how you think about them? After you know what it will entail for you, make the active decision to do it.

     3. Work to understand the perspective of the offender, and develop empathy and compassion towards them. This is where meditation might be particularly helpful. Imagine good will or compassion toward that person. It will be hard at first, but with time and patience it can become easier, and you will feel more free.  Some things to keep in mind when trying to be understanding is that you never know what battles the other person is facing in their life, or if something is neurologically wrong, or if there was simply a misunderstanding. 

     4. Understand your own shortcomings and need for forgiveness. Not one of us is perfect, and that’s okay. There’s a little good and bad in each of us, and recognizing this can help us give the benefit of the doubt to other.

     5.  Find positive meaning in past events. Instead of a something that is going to ruin your life forever, you can see it as an opportunity to grow and a challenge to overcome. Those who are in the habit of this have less perceived stress and live longer because of it.

     6.  Practice til you become it. Don't worry if forgiveness doesn't come right away or it's taking longer than you would like. It takes time to change the way we thing because it takes time for our brains to strengthen different thought pathways than we are used to using.

     There is one more thing that I would caution about. Some that have gone through extreme trauma, e.g. sexual abuse sometimes feel pressured to forgive their offenders. Recognize that you get to choose forgiveness on your own timeline and no one can tell you how you should or shouldn't feel. Remember that forgiveness is finding peace in yourself, and not making what the offender did okay.

To finish up, I'll leave you with a quote by Lewis Smedes: "You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well."

Benefits of a Little Nature

Brick or Bark? Terrace or Tree? Pollution or Pollen? Leveler or Leaf? 

This week's blog will highlight a couple studies that can help improve the qualitiy of your life in the work or home spaces that you frequent the most by simply adding a little nature.

The first study done by Ulrich in 1984 looked at patients in a hospital who either had a window view of something nature-ous (like a tree), or a view of something un-nature-ous, (like a brick building).

Turns out, those who had a the nature-ous view had shorter hospital stays, received fewer negative evaluations by nurses, and had to take less pain medication.

What?! You mean to say, that how fast your body heals can be influenced by if you have a little nature in your life or not? It's true.

The US Environmental Protection Agency in 1989 reported that Americans spend an average of 90% of their time indoors.  Wow. Think about that for a second. Ninety percent!

In addition, a statistic from the Kaiser Family Foundation reports kids are spending about HALF as much time outdoors as they did 20 years ago. Plus kids ages 8-18 spend an average of 7 hours and 38 minutes every day on some kind of media.

So what happened to nature? Is it still there? Does something like this really exist?

Or are we doomed to a life of this instead?

It's likely that you have some responsibilities in the latter, making it harder to get to a place of the former.  But there are things that you can do in order to incorporate more of the former into the latter.

According to a study done by Raanaas et.al. in 2011, adding a small plant or even a picture of a plant to your workspace may improve your phsyical and mental health.

So could your work or home or hospital space use a little something?  Perhaps you just might be able to feel the benefits of a little nature in your life by inviting it in :)

(One last note: In some places you aren't given the option of adding a plant or a picture of a plant. In that case, you might consider the benefits of nature visualization.  So make sure to watch for our new new forrest visualization recording coming soon! Until then, check out these other visualization recordings that can help improve the quality of your life: https://caps.byu.edu/audio-files)

Giving Yourself a Bonus of Time

What is one thing that all of us living on this ball of mass called the Earth have in common?

Twenty-four hours in a day.

Of course, how you spend those 24 hours can vary quite drastically.  Some might spend the majority of their time working at a desk job, or perhaps travelling. Others may be taking care of children or the elderly; still others might be playing music or fighting wars. In some cases people might spend most of their hours looking for food or working in mines and sweat shops- just simply trying to survive for another 24.

The point is, no matter who you are, the objective measure of time will be the same for everyone, and most people feel that there is simply not enough time or money in 24 hours to do all that they would like.

Know the feeling?

So why would you want to give up a precious 10 or 15 minutes of rotating earth time to sit around and try to think about nothing? Scientists have gathered the following so far about how meditation can positively affect our minds as well as our bodies:

Point is, it's good for you.  Just like going to the gym, but mind-focused.

"Great," you might be thinking to yourself, "just one more thing I have to add to my impossible to-do list. I have to get the kids to school, clean the house, pay the bills, get groceries, turn in the project that's due tomorrow, take the car to the repair shop and a million other things.  Not to mention I haven't even showered today. There simply isn't time."

So now we come back to time. Here are a couple simple ideas from behavioral economics that can help us change our perception about how we view our time and how 10 or 15 minutes is possible without making us feel more stressed about wanting to de-stress.

1. Simply write it down in your calendar somewhere. 

This suggestion comes from the idea of default options. Default options are basically what happens when no choice is made. You just go with whatever box is already checked, whatever is already on your calendar, and with whatever movie your friends have already chosen.  

So if it gets to next Saturday, you might look at your calendar, and since 10 minutes of meditation is already the default plan, you are more likely to go with it. Your future self will thank you.

2. Plan in bonus time. 

This idea comes from the findings of loss aversion. Loss aversion is basically when it hurts to loose something more than it feels good to get something. For example, the feelings from having to give up10 dollars of your own money feels a lot worse than getting a bonus 10 dollars.  

So instead of feeling like you have to give up an extra 10 minutes of your time, it will make you feel more free to just find a bonus 10 minutes of time you don't have to sacrifice. You can do this by scheduling regular things slightly longer, and when you get to it, since you were planning on that amount of time being used up anyway, you'll have the extra time for a little brain break. 

For example, when you go grocery shopping you might not know exactly how long that will take. Sometimes the lines are really long for check-out, and sometimes they are not.  Plan on them being longer, so a) if the lines really are long, then you don't have to feel stressed, and b) if they are indeed not that long, you just found yourself a bonus 10 minutes!

Those 10 minutes are all yours. You can do with it whatever you want! You are free to free your mind. Suggestions might be to take the long way to your car. Stop at the park on the way home for those 10 minutes. Simply close your eyes and notice what sensations you feel in the moment without having to change anything. Turn on soft music and simply appreciate what it feels like to be alive for just 10 minutes.

Of course there are more ways than just these to manage time effectively and different ways that you can meditate. For a list of basic relaxation methods click here, and for more time management tricks feel free to take a look here.

In the end, those bonus ten minutes can get you from feeling like this:

To this:

Help is Here!

BYU=Stress?

BYU ranked fourth most 'stress-inducing' school in the country

by Samantha Varvel

A College Magazine article attempted to name the “most competitive, challenging and stress-inducing” schools in the country and placed Brigham Young University as number four on the list. BYU surpassed Harvard, United States Naval Academy, Columbia and Princeton, among others, in CM’s roundup of the most “high-strung” universities in the United States.

Meghan Higgins feels anything but relief as she digs deep into her studies. (Photo by Elliott Miller)

The article claimed that BYU’s strict honor code and tough requirements for major programs contribute to its high-stress atmosphere. The author, Jensen Werley, explained that the unique combination of BYU’s high academic ranking with its rigid rules led her to put it on the top of the list.

“The fact it was reported that you couldn’t have caffeine or alcohol made (BYU) seem more stressful than a school where you can buy a giant coffee to help you stay up all night or drink a beer after a week of tests,” Werley said. “I imagine if an Ivy League student had their coffee taken away they would stress even more.”

However, BYU students like Mairin Mildenhall feel that substance restrictions in BYU’s honor code are not a source of stress at all, as most students were already accustomed to living according to its standards before they came to college.

“For the vast majority of students here, drinking and drugs are not even a temptation,” Mildenhall wrote in a comment on the article. “In fact, most people who choose BYU do so because they prefer an environment that is free of substance abuse.”

The College Magazine article quoted BYU student Addison Day, a sophomore who plans to apply for the accounting program in June. Day said he was contacted by Werley, who was looking for a student from BYU to contribute to her story about the most high-strung schools in America. Werley stated in her article that Day said rules against drugs and alcohol at BYU “only add to the stress.”

Day said he hoped speaking to The Universe would help clear up his name, as he has been receiving some heat from fellow students who feel he improperly represented how BYU students feel about their honor code. Day said he felt Werley implied a meaning from his words that he had not intended. When asked if he personally feels the honor code adds to stress at BYU, Day said, “No, not at all. It makes it better.”

“The first thing that I said is (the honor code) probably makes it easier for most people,” he said. “But I did definitely describe the school as high-strung, you know, it’s competitive. It’s a hard school. But it wasn’t because of the honor code.”

Whether or not BYU’s honor code is a source of stress for students, it reflects a general expectation for quality not only in academics but also in morality and health that can be above and beyond what other universities require of their students.

Meghan Higgins, a pre-communications major, explained that she wasn’t surprised to see BYU ranked as one of the top stress-inducing schools because she believes BYU sets a uniquely high bar for its students in every aspect of their lives.

“We work hard not only to achieve good grades, but also to live a morally honorable life by the standard of our school’s honor code without the loose activity that often surrounds other schools to help students get by,” Higgins said. “I believe the stress that results in the combination of the two is equivalent and comparable to the stress levels of maintaining a 4.0 GPA at Harvard.”

Challenging academics and the honor code may not be the only sources of stress unique to BYU students. Economics major Lauren Cole said the pressure to maintain an active dating life and to ultimately find a spouse can add additional anxiety in a culture where the importance of marriage is heavily emphasized.

“Not only are we expected to perform at school, but we are also expected to perform at relationships,” Cole wrote in a blog post responding to the College Magazine article. “How is that for freshmen stress.”

Cole said she feels high stress could also be related to a Mormon culture that values continued personal progression in every area. “It’s a harder lifestyle,” she said in an interview.

“I am not saying that BYU isn’t worth it,” Cole wrote. “BYU and the gospel of Jesus Christ offer a peace and a perspective that other college students just don’t have. I am just saying that BYU can be hard and stressful sometimes and that come finals week at BYU you may be running into many stress-induced psychos!”

Open Biofeedback Hours

Come in and practice your stress management skills and explore what specific relaxation styles work best for you. Each student will be assisted by a Biofeedback Assistant at their own computer station. Available to all BYU students, staff, and faculty.

Open Biofeedback Training may include:

• Playing fun interactive biofeedback games and activities to: 
• calm down
• improve concentration and memory
• enhance performance in academics, music and sports
• Learning relaxation skills
• Fulfillment of class requirements 

The first 3 people each hour will be admitted since there is limited space available. No appointment necessary.

All open biofeedback hours are held in 1582 WSC. White spaces indicate open hours for Winter 2013.

To find out the daily schedule of Open Biofeedback Hours, see the schedule below, call 801-422-3035 or come by the Counseling and Psychological Services reception desk in 1500 WSC between 8am and 5pm weekdays.

Breathing How-To

Breathing more slowly, gently and deeply helps to calm and relax and can also reduce tension and anxiety and improve concentration and memory. Shallow and fast breathing can contribute to anxiety, muscular tension, panic attacks, headaches, and fatigue. By practicing slow, deep breathing, your mind will calm down and your body will relax. Diaphragmatic, or, abdominal breathing is one of  the easiest ways to produce the relaxation response. Practice 10 or more minutes to learn the proper technique for deep relaxation. helping to reduce muscle tension and anxiety. Throughout the day, frequently take a few slow, deep breaths or do a couple minutes of diaphragmatic breathing, especially when feeling stressed.

This amusing clip starring Elmo and Colbie Caillat teaches kids early on the importance and technique of breathing deeply as a stress management tool.  This is a technique that works for all ages!

On a more serious note, here is a breathing meditation where you can apply this belly breathing technique to relax and de-stress yourself.

The Stress of Perfectionism

A lot of the stress that we experience every day is brought upon by ourselves.  We may set unrealistic expectations for ourselves that we feel we must meet.  But we all want to do our best and excel in life.  What is the difference between doing your best and impractical perfectionism?  In a devotional to the Provo MTC in 2002, current BYU president Cecil O. Samuelson talks about perfectionism and how to overcome it.

What Does It Mean to Be Perfect?

For over 20 years I was a professor and practitioner of medicine, and I have a concern that I know is shared by other General Authorities. A matter of great concern for some of you is the issue that mental health professionals describe as “perfectionism.” Interestingly, often those who struggle the most with issues of perfectionism are among the most talented people. They have often been excellent students, model children, and outstanding young people. Some, however, become so obsessed or consumed with their every thought, action, and response, that they may become far too extreme in their own perceptions of what is expected of them.

Continue in Patience

There is an understandable goal to follow the Savior’s direction to “be ye therefore perfect” (Matt. 5:48). While this goal is admirable and appropriate, it is unfortunate that some consider that this perfection must occur immediately. A careful study of the footnote in our scriptures to this verse teaches us that the notion of being perfect means that we are “complete, finished, fully developed.” Thus, while we should be engaged in the process of perfection, we need to acknowledge that achieving this goal will likely take a long time for all of us. The Lord said, “Ye are not able to abide the presence of God now, neither the ministering of angels; wherefore, continue in patience until ye are perfected” (D&C 67:13). This is good advice for all of us.

There clearly are some things in which you can be perfect. The payment of tithing and the behavioral aspects of the law of chastity are examples. There are other things, however, that most of us will need to work on throughout our entire lives and yet not reach the perfection that is eventually promised until the eternities if we are true and faithful. Matters such as having absolute faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, a complete understanding of the scriptures, always controlling our thoughts and our tongues are all issues that require persistence and patience.

Worthiness and Perfection

Occasionally, for well-motivated and highly devoted Latter-day Saints, confusion occurs about the differences between worthiness and perfection. Worthiness and perfection don’t mean the same thing! All of us are “works in process.” We can be worthy while still needing improvement.

Be sure that you do not have higher standards for yourself or others than the Lord has established. Find satisfaction in your progress while acknowledging that perfection may still be distant.

Our perceptions of ourselves may or may not be accurate, but more frequently than we may expect, they may differ from how others view us. Those suffering from perfectionism tend to be wonderful, contributing, and effective people, and yet may feel that no matter what they do, it is never enough. These good people suffer from exaggerating their minor mistakes, weaknesses, or shortcomings to the point that they may become dysfunctional.

Please note that I am not against modesty or humility. These are important and even cardinal virtues. Jesus taught us that we should be meek but not masochistic. When we become obsessed with our deficiencies or weaknesses and so focused upon them that we—of necessity—neglect everything else, then we are out of balance. The Lord shares an important insight: “And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them” (Ether 12:27).

This is the Lord’s formula and promise for dealing with our weaknesses. We need to recognize them, but we do not glory in them or magnify them. For some of them, we do need to get appropriate help early.

Each of us needs to be absolutely honest with him or herself. Most of us do not always see ourselves as others see us or even as the Lord may see us. That is one of the reasons that we are provided with devoted and capable Church leaders to counsel with us, teach us, and support us. We must be absolutely honest with them in all the matters of our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health.

Wisdom and Order

Too many of us tend to glory in or dwell on our weaknesses, temptations, and shortcomings. We must recognize them, get help when that is appropriate (see Editors’ note on this page), but move on as soon as possible and not be preoccupied with them. But when serious problems or challenges are facing us, neglecting them or repressing them almost always makes them worse rather than causing them to go away.

Let me assure you that you are literal sons and daughters of our loving Heavenly Father, who knows you and cares about you. This you must not only know but must never forget. If you always do your best with realistic expectations and understanding of both your strengths and weaknesses, you will be able to be an important part of this great work.

In King Benjamin’s wonderful address, the people under his stewardship were corrected, instructed, and inspired. He taught them of the Savior’s Atonement and also the capacity that they could have to put off the “natural man” and become saints (see Mosiah 3:19). He taught them of their tremendous responsibilities and helped them understand how they might retain a remission of their sins through faithfully keeping the covenants they had made and the commandments they had received. After all of this, remember these words of this wise prophet-king: “And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength” (Mosiah 4:27). All that we do must be done in “wisdom and order.”

May the Lord bless us all to understand clearly our potential and place. May we have the courage to stand tall in the face of our challenges, the wisdom to get help when we need it, and the faith to know that the Lord will bless His servants who are doing their best.

“We all need to remember: men are that they might have joy—not guilt trips!” —Elder Russell M. Nelson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, “Perfection Pending,” Ensign, Nov. 1995, 86.

“Worthiness is a process, and perfection is an eternal trek. We can be worthy to enjoy certain privileges without being perfect.” —Elder Marvin J. Ashton (1915–1994), “On Being Worthy,” Ensign, May 1989, 20.

“The Church is ‘for the perfecting of the saints’ (Eph. 4:12); it is not a well-provisioned rest home for the already perfected.” —Elder Neal A. Maxwell (1926–2004), “A Brother Offended,” Ensign, May 1982, 38.

Perfectionism is a medical condition characterized by severe self-criticism and self-doubt, often accompanied by anxiety, depression, or obsessive-compulsive behavior. It can lead to appetite and sleep disturbances, confusion, problems in relationships, inability to concentrate, procrastination of important tasks, and, if left untreated, major depression, anxiety disorders, and suicide.

What’s the Difference?

Doing Your Best	Perfectionism
You desire to give things your best efforts and are satisfied when you do.	You have a list of “shoulds” and “have to’s” and are dissatisfied even if you complete them.
You know it’s okay if you make a mistake. You move on and see your mistake as an opportunity for growth or learning.	Mistakes bring feelings of self-hatred. You don’t want to do anything because you are afraid of failure.
You want to do your personal best, and you try not to compare your achievements to those of others. You don’t need to be the best at all things.	You feel tremendous pressure to earn others’ approval. You must be the best or “perfect” in your tasks.
You can find joy in doing the things you love, and you can get things accomplished.	Your need to do things perfectly leads to procrastination until you have time to do it “perfectly,” and you feel driven by fear or duty instead of love.
Trying to do your best and perfecting yourself “line upon line” with the Savior’s help isChrist-centered because you need the Atonement.	Perfectionism is self-centered. You measure yourself against your own standards and against others’ standards, not God’s.

What strategies or mindsets do you use to overcome perfectionism?